A tale of a brown skin solo female traveller

...Make your choice, adventurous Stranger;Strike the bell and bide the danger,Or wonder, till it drives you mad,What would have followed if you had...

I wrote this because i know there are thousand people traveling solo in this world every day.

There were times where i said "Lucky me, i'm traveling by my self!!" or when the itchy feeling inside my chest when i see something amazing, like sunrise on a mountain top, or beautiful night city view from a high tower...moment when you think "what the heck am i doing here by my self??"

There are more than once i get my cellphone and dial a number of my family member but then cancel it--errh its very expensive to pay... but i just want to share the experience.. and i really ..really feel sorry because they can not experience what i had while on my trip. Just an sms to someone that i know sometimes help.. like saying "hey finally i see Eiffel tower, its huge!" silly sms that i sent to a friend although can't express how i felt that time.. but sharing the momento is kind of fun.

Grow up in a tiny town in Sumatra, i could count by fingers girls that traveling solo abroad since 2007. Its just our culture not really think a solo female traveler is a good thing. Even a guy in Singapore say it blunt, he will never allow his daughter traveling by her self.

I never meet any Indonesian traveler during my trip for 20 days in Europe. I didn't talk with Indonesia language beside time when i met my old friend Niklas at Stuttgart. Its kind of silly when you missed the small thing at home while youre away and when you back to your country... its kind of..nah.. i want something else (like Germany soft cheese or fresh spargel).

Landed in Charles de Gaulle... i could feel what every what we call "bule" a call for caucasian in Indonesia. Staring eyes. Little children look at you and smile.. very cute. I am not the average asian girls with 173cms height (5.67 ft), i look more like Chinese somehow but my skin darker. Its just the Sumatra girl type of look.

When i say i am from Indonesia, while in Brussels one of the traveler say, can't be! hahah because he went to Java island, and Bali.. but not to Sumatra. We had different ... kind of looks. Most of us more taller, and the skin is more lighter. I think its the ancestor more to mixed of Chinese and Arabic as Sumatra is a trading island, close to the Malacca strait its one of the "silk road" for traders (if you read history). The girls in java more shorter and had darker brown skin.. mine more yellowish/light brown like sunkissed tan (this is what my friend describe hahah).

Ok back to the topic.


I just feel stranded and all alone. Like... oh wow.. i am very different here! even with some asian i met in Europe just once i passes by a young family with malaysian dialect talking out side the ANZ stadium in Munich, must be the Bayern Muenchen fans for sure. But that girl is the only girl that i met with same skin color and dialects that i know :(


And i am not even going to the moon yet! hahaha


I tried not to loose my identity while im traveling.. why? for me this is important.... i stick to the note i am from Indonesia, and i had my own culture.. i try to tell other travelers things about Indonesia. The cultures... the fact that BALI IS PART INDONESIA as one of our 33 province and its a huge country also the majority beliefs is moslem there.


I always proud to say i am from Indonesia, even if at the end they will talk about the Bali Bombing and also the bombing happens in Jakarta, all i could say is so many mean people in this world, you could fiind it in India, UK, and most recent in Norway, a peaceful Nobel country!


Why generalize all Indonesian because one maniacs?? why made any different than things in India, UK, Japan... is that made everyone not like those country? No.


Ok no politics debating here.


How to deal with loneliness while you traveling solo?how do you cope with those?


First i will try to look back why i did it. Reason why i travel solo. Because i want it, for sure! then like my boss said once "suck it up" i did. For better or worse this is what i choice.


I will try to find new connection, new friends on road... which you will find easier to get while you're traveling solo! this is how i met Mr T and loads more my friends on street. We got lost and we share maps and itineraries.

A small "hi" and a smile would help very much! i am a very shy person... especially to people i just met. But hey.. when youre traveling by your self you can't do the shy thing! when you get lost you need to interact with other people to ask directions, dont forget to thank them! and hostels... is also the best place to find new friends.. try to mingle!

I will also try to think nice reason why i travel solo.. i could do things that i like, also no schedule no itineraries... just let loose!

Traveling solo is also a good way to see inside your soul, to think about your life... things that you took for granted like family, friends.. everyone that you wish that could be with you that time. You could only send sms say "thanks for being my friend" its overwhelming feeling to know that back there at home you s till have them, and you being alone just during your travel time only.

Try to made your schedule pretty tight, or do something productive, drawing, taking tons of pictures, i always bring my ipod with me, i could listen to music and play game while on tram. But if you want to friends on road i am not suggesting this hahaha.. last thing i want is to bug someone with earphones stick to their ears. It short of saying "let me by my self would you?!!"

Also i would try to do some sport, running, swimming.. its good after a long trip, to get rid the jet lag.. and btw jet lag i thin is the main cause of the "oh i feel so lonely" depressed feeling!! and i just get rid that away quick.. like while i was in Paris, just go and walk i wont stay in hostel bed and feel sad of being in a strange city! i will explore! (Fika the explorer hahahah!)


Just open your map, your lonely planets your itinerary.. dont let your self not doing anything.. unless if youre having vacation at a small island and youre next to this beach, lying down in white sandy beach under a tree with a book half read on your tummy and youre enjoying the sun, then i am very sure of this, you're doing just fine not doing anything ,...but that!


There are thousand things to do to cope with your loneliness... i know you had your own way on the street.... its sad that you travel by your self.. but hey.. its your choice and you are in place where you want to be!!


Cheer up!